Women!!!
This report, from March 2008, is directly relevant to the lecture on Gender.
For your comments and discussion, please...see you at the ILVE SSA1201 Forum
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Man enough to carry her handbag?
Sat, Mar 01, 2008
The New Paper
HE opens doors for his date, pays the bills and sends her home.
He even carries her handbag.
Sounds too good to be true?
Not if you are Mr Jaycee Ong, 33.
The Singaporean technical support engineer will do all that and more to make his girl feel special.
He has, for instance, peeled prawns for his beloved, massaged her tired feet and even wiped her wet hands dry.
'It's not that I should do it, I'm doing it because I love her and I want to pamper her,' Mr Ong said. He is single and a member of the Social Development Service.
As for being the 'handbag man', he added without hesitation: 'If she wants me to carry it, I would. I'm quite open-minded. What era is it already?'
He's not alone in playing the gentlemen during dates.
A report in The Sunday Times last week had asked if Singapore's modern women were demanding too much from their dates.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
It was based on a survey on singles by the Social Development Service (SDS), which found that many female respondents expect their dates to dress up for them, open doors for them, foot the bills, send them home, and even carry their handbags.
What's surprising is that many Singaporean men are willing to go the extra mile to spoil their women silly.
For instance, the SDS survey showed that one in four women expect their guys to carry their handbags, but 70 per cent of the male respondents said they would gladly do so.
In addition, nine out of 10 men will open doors for their dates, even though half of the women expect it.
So, does this mean Singapore men are more chivalrous than expected, or are they just doing it to impress?
The New Paper spoke to 100 men and it appears chivalry is very much alive.
We found that 85 per cent of the respondents would open restaurant doors for their dates and 61 per cent would open car doors.
Eight in 10 would pay for dating expenses, and nine in 10 would send their dates home.
Even when it comes to the supposedly manhood-compromising act of holding girlie handbags, half of the men polled would still do it.
Some men said they do it because the bag is too heavy for the woman, or she needs to free her hands for browsing clothes.
Chef Kelvin Chew, 30, said he would do it in a heartbeat.
'It's 10 per cent love, 30 per cent because it's a guy's job, and 60 per cent because I'm used to it and it's a routine and a must.'
Banking officer Casey Tan, 34, disagreed.
'It's embarrassing,' he said.
'I know it sounds chauvinistic, but we have our own wallets and that's their personal stuff, their wallet and phone. Would they carry our haversacks?'
Student Chen Jing Hean, 21, said he has friends who would carry their wives' handbags - albeit with a reluctant twist.
'If they die-die must carry them, they will put the handbag in a plastic bag and carry it. Because they think it's not 'man' to carry a woman's handbag.'
As for opening doors for their dates, it seems the men are more willing to open restaurant doors than car doors.
Mr Hussein Salim, 43, a clerk, thinks it is 'quite troublesome' for him to get the car door for his date, and it is 'much more convenient' for her to let herself out.
But he would get the restaurant door. 'It's on the way, so I don't mind. I should even get the seat for her.'
When it comes to paying for dates and sending the women home, the majority of the men seem to agree that both are must-dos.
Operations manager Andrew Lin, 27, said: 'Guys should be paying at least for the first date. It's not about flaunting your wealth, it's just (something) nice to do.'
Financial consultant Adrian Ong, 25, takes sending his date home seriously.
'It's a way of telling her parents that I'm accountable for her. It's a responsible thing to do.'
SHOULD HE...
CARRY HER HANDBAG?
No: 51%
Yes: 49%
OPEN RESTAURANT DOORS FOR HER?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
PAY FOR HER ON DATES?
Yes: 80%
No: 20%
SEND HER HOME AFTER A DATE?
Yes: 91%
No: 9%
GOOD DATES
On the surface, both our poll and the SDS survey seem to suggest that Singaporean men make good dates.
SDS's general manager Joan Peirera said they commissioned the survey last December to find out the dating expectations of men and women, in order to help facilitate 'a smoother dating process'.
Ms Peirera said: 'Leaving a good impression is very important especially during first date.
'It is the ticket to getting to know each other better and (the beginning of) a possibly meaningful relationship.'
But the sceptics would scoff: Surely the men are doing it to score brownie points with their dates and not because it comes naturally to them?
Student Jeremy Yeo, 23, puts it simply: 'If the women demand, the men accommodate.'
Mr Jamie Lee, who co-founded the dating agency Lunch Actually with his wife Violet Lim, thinks that gentlemanly behaviour varies according to experience in dating.
'Generally, men who have dated more often and have more experience with the opposite sex know the importance of being gentlemanly and treating the woman right, so it's not so much something they force themselves to do, but simply something they should do as a man.'
Ms Lim, however, thinks that some men are naturally chivalrous while others resort to chivalry to 'portray themselves in a favourable light'.
GOOD INTENTIONS
But she added that 'as long as the efforts and intentions are genuine, I think we should commend Singaporean men for their efforts'.
Mr Andrew Chow, managing agent for social networking portal Romancing Singapore, said he loves to 'be a gentleman' and coach male singles on how to treat women right.
But he draws the line at carrying handbags - it is ego-bruising and he feels it makes him less of a man.
He feels that those who do so are trying to too hard to impress.
'I'd coach them on how to give surprises and remembering little things about their dates, but not carrying their bags.
'When a man carries a handbag, he is demoted from partner to man-in-waiting. If she cannot carry her own bag, then she's better off not carrying any bag.'
IT manager CY Chiam, 37, has the last word on such chivalry.
'Once you're married, all the best show is no more. Once you win her heart, there's no more false pretence.'
New Paper Survey Findings:
(100 men were interviewed)
SHOULD HE...
CARRY HER HANDBAG?
No: 51%
Yes: 49%
OPEN RESTAURANT DOORS FOR HER?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
PAY FOR HER ON DATES?
Yes: 80%
No: 20%
SEND HER HOME AFTER A DATE?
Yes: 91%
No: 9%
Original Link
http://www.asiaone.com/Just%2BWoman/News/Women%2BIn%2BThe%2BNews/Story/A1Story20080303-52398.html
For your comments and discussion, please...see you at the ILVE SSA1201 Forum
-------------------------------------------------
Man enough to carry her handbag?
Sat, Mar 01, 2008
The New Paper
HE opens doors for his date, pays the bills and sends her home.
He even carries her handbag.
Sounds too good to be true?
Not if you are Mr Jaycee Ong, 33.
The Singaporean technical support engineer will do all that and more to make his girl feel special.
He has, for instance, peeled prawns for his beloved, massaged her tired feet and even wiped her wet hands dry.
'It's not that I should do it, I'm doing it because I love her and I want to pamper her,' Mr Ong said. He is single and a member of the Social Development Service.
As for being the 'handbag man', he added without hesitation: 'If she wants me to carry it, I would. I'm quite open-minded. What era is it already?'
He's not alone in playing the gentlemen during dates.
A report in The Sunday Times last week had asked if Singapore's modern women were demanding too much from their dates.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
It was based on a survey on singles by the Social Development Service (SDS), which found that many female respondents expect their dates to dress up for them, open doors for them, foot the bills, send them home, and even carry their handbags.
What's surprising is that many Singaporean men are willing to go the extra mile to spoil their women silly.
For instance, the SDS survey showed that one in four women expect their guys to carry their handbags, but 70 per cent of the male respondents said they would gladly do so.
In addition, nine out of 10 men will open doors for their dates, even though half of the women expect it.
So, does this mean Singapore men are more chivalrous than expected, or are they just doing it to impress?
The New Paper spoke to 100 men and it appears chivalry is very much alive.
We found that 85 per cent of the respondents would open restaurant doors for their dates and 61 per cent would open car doors.
Eight in 10 would pay for dating expenses, and nine in 10 would send their dates home.
Even when it comes to the supposedly manhood-compromising act of holding girlie handbags, half of the men polled would still do it.
Some men said they do it because the bag is too heavy for the woman, or she needs to free her hands for browsing clothes.
Chef Kelvin Chew, 30, said he would do it in a heartbeat.
'It's 10 per cent love, 30 per cent because it's a guy's job, and 60 per cent because I'm used to it and it's a routine and a must.'
Banking officer Casey Tan, 34, disagreed.
'It's embarrassing,' he said.
'I know it sounds chauvinistic, but we have our own wallets and that's their personal stuff, their wallet and phone. Would they carry our haversacks?'
Student Chen Jing Hean, 21, said he has friends who would carry their wives' handbags - albeit with a reluctant twist.
'If they die-die must carry them, they will put the handbag in a plastic bag and carry it. Because they think it's not 'man' to carry a woman's handbag.'
As for opening doors for their dates, it seems the men are more willing to open restaurant doors than car doors.
Mr Hussein Salim, 43, a clerk, thinks it is 'quite troublesome' for him to get the car door for his date, and it is 'much more convenient' for her to let herself out.
But he would get the restaurant door. 'It's on the way, so I don't mind. I should even get the seat for her.'
When it comes to paying for dates and sending the women home, the majority of the men seem to agree that both are must-dos.
Operations manager Andrew Lin, 27, said: 'Guys should be paying at least for the first date. It's not about flaunting your wealth, it's just (something) nice to do.'
Financial consultant Adrian Ong, 25, takes sending his date home seriously.
'It's a way of telling her parents that I'm accountable for her. It's a responsible thing to do.'
SHOULD HE...
CARRY HER HANDBAG?
No: 51%
Yes: 49%
OPEN RESTAURANT DOORS FOR HER?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
PAY FOR HER ON DATES?
Yes: 80%
No: 20%
SEND HER HOME AFTER A DATE?
Yes: 91%
No: 9%
GOOD DATES
On the surface, both our poll and the SDS survey seem to suggest that Singaporean men make good dates.
SDS's general manager Joan Peirera said they commissioned the survey last December to find out the dating expectations of men and women, in order to help facilitate 'a smoother dating process'.
Ms Peirera said: 'Leaving a good impression is very important especially during first date.
'It is the ticket to getting to know each other better and (the beginning of) a possibly meaningful relationship.'
But the sceptics would scoff: Surely the men are doing it to score brownie points with their dates and not because it comes naturally to them?
Student Jeremy Yeo, 23, puts it simply: 'If the women demand, the men accommodate.'
Mr Jamie Lee, who co-founded the dating agency Lunch Actually with his wife Violet Lim, thinks that gentlemanly behaviour varies according to experience in dating.
'Generally, men who have dated more often and have more experience with the opposite sex know the importance of being gentlemanly and treating the woman right, so it's not so much something they force themselves to do, but simply something they should do as a man.'
Ms Lim, however, thinks that some men are naturally chivalrous while others resort to chivalry to 'portray themselves in a favourable light'.
GOOD INTENTIONS
But she added that 'as long as the efforts and intentions are genuine, I think we should commend Singaporean men for their efforts'.
Mr Andrew Chow, managing agent for social networking portal Romancing Singapore, said he loves to 'be a gentleman' and coach male singles on how to treat women right.
But he draws the line at carrying handbags - it is ego-bruising and he feels it makes him less of a man.
He feels that those who do so are trying to too hard to impress.
'I'd coach them on how to give surprises and remembering little things about their dates, but not carrying their bags.
'When a man carries a handbag, he is demoted from partner to man-in-waiting. If she cannot carry her own bag, then she's better off not carrying any bag.'
IT manager CY Chiam, 37, has the last word on such chivalry.
'Once you're married, all the best show is no more. Once you win her heart, there's no more false pretence.'
New Paper Survey Findings:
(100 men were interviewed)
SHOULD HE...
CARRY HER HANDBAG?
No: 51%
Yes: 49%
OPEN RESTAURANT DOORS FOR HER?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
PAY FOR HER ON DATES?
Yes: 80%
No: 20%
SEND HER HOME AFTER A DATE?
Yes: 91%
No: 9%
Original Link
http://www.asiaone.com/Just%2BWoman/News/Women%2BIn%2BThe%2BNews/Story/A1Story20080303-52398.html
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